Sunday, 17 November 2013

i feel fed up

hallo tribol..
today i feel so bored. you know, i really want to stay at home. sleeping, watching the tv, read a novel, and manymore.
dont you know that there are all so boring!!
i dont have friends here..
no no,, there are no people that can be my friends..
so, just need 2 months for me to feel bore.
i jump one level.
if in a normal situation, i feel 3 phases,, there are : beginning ( introduction ), enjoy, and boring..
but at this time i just pass 2 phases.
huft,, i dont know what should i do.
i dont know how i feel.
i dont want to go to the company, but i also dont want if i am to be an unemployment.
you know, i want to go to refreshing, but i dont have money,,
so i hove to work.
but i dont enjoy it.

you know, i want to do everything as i want.
you know, i want to do everything as i can.
this is my live. isn't it?
so , why should i force my self to do than i dont want?!

huh,, we can call it "complaining"
so, for whom this complaining should i sent?
to my parent?
to all of this condition?
to my self?
to god? (astaghfirulloooh)
i am sorry god,,
i will make myself better,,
but for now, i just want to share my feeling.
is that wrong?

even for now i dont know what i want to
i dont know what i need
what i should say

but there is always your name on my heart, god
and i will always hope your blessing, your help, your affection..
dont leave me anyway.


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